Sunday, February 24, 2013

Off to the Home of Blue Curacao (thats Cu-ra-Souw not Ku-ra-kow)

Before leaving for Curacao, I have to admit, that, like most people, I had pretty much no idea what/where it was. Except that Blue Curacao is a main ingredient in a blue lagoon cocktail, on in fact most cocktails that are blue in colour. Well. That was good enough for me, and after yet another canoe/border-crossing/taxi/hostelinparimaribo/taxitoairport scenario we were on our way. Well, after a 2 hour delay which the check in desk neglected to tell us about. One guy told us he thought it was delayed 2 hours, another man in a shop said we were lucky it was only two, and that normally its at least 4! We did the only reasonable thing: bought a bottle of cheap rum and played some cards.

This delay was actually rather annoying as it pretty much messed up all our arrangements for the first night. Kaia (one of the two drivers in the group) missed the pick-up for her rental car, couldn't get hold of anyone so we had to get a taxi... when we rocked up to the apartment, turns out it was a gated community that you couldn't get into without a remote-control , and in actual fact we didn't even know the number of the house, even if we could get inside. All we had was a number of a man in the phillipines that owned it- useful! Some of us snuck off in the one successful car-rental to provide everyone with big macs for what could be a long night sleeping outside the gate, but LUCKILY in our absense, a woman appeared at the gate with a key and all was good. Sadly in the kuffufle we missed the last night of carnival parade- not that best start!

I started the next morning as I meant to go one- cheeky bit of yoga by the pool. Shame this was the only time I did any exercize the whole holiday! Later on the others arrived having successfully rented a second car and we trundled off to check out a nearby beach for a swim in the clear blue caribbean sea- a world away from the manky brown of the Maroni river- thank god! I got sunburnt- classic, and as a result I had to wear my hair in pigtail plaits to disguise the redness, which turned me into my dutch alter-ego Helga who made various appearances throughout the week. (Curacao is a former dutch colony, part of the netherlands antilles, as such ALL tourists are beautiful, tall, tanned, dutch people, unless they are one of the thousands of americans rocking up on a cruise ship most days.)


It's all very good that I fitted in, being tanned, and having (mostly) blond hair these days... however it is unfortunate that Hello is the same in dutch- meaning that, even if I put on my most english accent on when I said it... the response would almost always come in dutch. "Hello, rose wine please" thus became my opener to avoid any confusion- bit awkward when you forget that this only really works in a bar-like situation :S

The second day was Kaia's birthday which we celebrated in a restaurant serving iguana stew after a long hard day exploring beaches, and caves and testing out the underwater camera. The owner was awesome, and the menu was a "walking one"- basically he told you what you wanted  and you said yes, thankyou! The dessert was a rather dubious green, chemical looking cake, which was apparently strawberry flavoured. Hmm... tasted more like spray paint to me but whatevs .

Friday was a very expensive, yet very nice day trip.... (Im not sure I could ever say it was WORTH it, given the $100 price-tag. For that there would have had to have been a submarine ride, or a helicopter to nearby Venezuela. It was great though- the highlight being the lunchtime BBQ. Seriously the first time I have eaten meat other than Ham slices since Miami at christmas. Nom Nom. Spent the afternoon snorkelling with sea turtles and reading my book on a sunlounger under a palm tree. LIFE IS HARD. We weren't feeling too tired after the two-hour boat trip back to the main island, so we attempted a night out. Now, I don't know where all the dutch tourists were hiding, but they deffo weren't in the beach clubs we were in, or in the town centre in the popular bars, or at the casino.... Faux Pas. At least we TRIED to have a night out. in the end I got some Mcdonalds nuggets, lost $6 at the casino and snuggled up watching that 70's show dubbed in Spanish. Good one.

Saturday we checked out Willemstad- the city on the island, and joined the herds of cruise-shippers that were lurking in every bar, attraction or souvenir shop. I bought some sexy travel trousers to add to the collection, had a $3 lunch at a Venezuelan place and hung out on the floating bridge which swings open and closes when boats want to come through. A bell rings and then a buzzer rings warning you how much time you have until it swings over far enough that the end is dangling in the middle of the sea, causing people to run and attempt some pretty snazzy jumps to make it over in time. Seriously- I have never seen caribbean people move this quickly! That night we actually had our first, and pretty much last successful night-out at the open-air club called Bermuda. I was loving the rose and woke up feeling rather ill and with a lot less money left than I was expecting. Apparently there was lots of sean-paul and I had a lovely time :D all good.... except for the fact you had to pay for the toilets, despite having paid for entry. RIP OFF. As such Sunday was pretty much a write off, laying on the beach recovering day. We had a fairly early night as Monday we were attempting a mountain.

Ok, so it wasn't massive, but it was called a mountain, and it was the highest point of Curacao, and yes, I attempted it in flip-flops, which was fun at the end when it became more rock-climbing than hiking. The dutch tourists took great delight in this and we had many conversations which consisted of them speaking dutch, pointing at my feet and me smiling, and giving my best "I know right, How silly am I?" face, without admitting that I don't actually have a clue what they just said. After the 2 hour walk, and some driving around the national park to make the most of paying to enter, the shit hit the fan slightly when one of our tyres decided to completely pop and leave us stranded half way up a big hill in the middle of nowhere driving on the rim. Bueno. How many english assistants does it take to change a tyre? Apparently more than 5, as none of us had a clue. We drove on the rim a bit further, then, after remembering that it was a rented car and that we shouldn't take too many chances we gave up, and me and Hannah power-walked to the welcome desk in the midday heat. Only to find that shortly after we arrived, sweating profusely, the car rocked up with a spare tire, courtesy of some nice men more capable than us in another car. A cheeky trip to a tire shop to find a tire that looked like ours without mentioning a thing to the rental company (tires are NOT covered on insurance!) and we were back on our way (after a much-needed smoothie to recuperate).

The rest of the time was a bit of blur between cocktails in jazz-bars, lazy days on beaches, MORE travel-trouser buying and before you know it we were back at the airport. BOO. I saved the day for a french couple when I translated for them that their flight was cancelled and that they would have to wait until the next day. Apparently the airline was in the process of sorting them out a hotel. Ha! Bad luck!---- Awkward moment, when, 5 mins later we arrive at the front of the queue to find that their plane was in fact our plane.

Banter. Annoying for some, but JUST what I was hoping for! A free taxi ride, to a free hotel worth $230 in the city centre, with free food for lunch, dinner and breakfast. WHAT A HARDSHIP. I wish my plane would get cancelled more often. I used the extra day to check out the cinema (zerodarkthirty- well tense!) and attempt another night at the casino. This one was more successful, $5 up, free beer and burger... whoop! But all too soon, I was forced out of my ridiculously comfy king-size bed and it was time to ACTUALLY get the plane :(

28 days til Polly A arrives, 4 weeks of more getting fit and healthy and being bored before the banter bus gets rolling again !









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