The Things I Have Learnt

      Things I Have Learnt So Far This Year… (In No Particular Order)

·         How to fix a bike chain that has fallen off.

·         How to accidentally delete the start bar and sound card on the laptop, and then also have to learn how                                 to get it back.

·         That St Laurent Du Maroni has the only still-operating Wooden (yes, Wooden!) hospital in the whole of France and its territories.

·         How to make a better than average crêpe without any weighing scales!

·         That napping the majority of the afternoon in a tropical country is completely acceptable.

·         The first half of the first series of poses of Ashtanga yoga.

·         That paying 6 euros to get to Suriname and back to save 3 euros on a loaf of bread is completely justified- on principle alone.

·         How to negotiate A and E on my own in a foreign language (still haven’t got the bill-whoop!)

·         Why people who travel South America always seem to miss out the Guyanas- ouch :S

·         That Guyane has the highest birth rate in not only France, but the whole of the Americas! (the average birth rate is 4! Children per woman, compared with 1.9 in metropolitan France.

·         How to discipline my students in Nenge Tongo, the local language. Sidon. Tapu U Mofu (sit down, and shut your mouth J)

·         How to write as much as possible in a text using abbreviations and txt tlk to avoid going into two text messages which will cost 22c instead of 11!

·         It is possible to get sunburnt even when there is a tropical storm going on.

·         Your mail will still be delivered even when someone put a firework in the box destroying it. You just have to hope that you get to the letter balanced on a shelf by your gate before someone else does.

·         That speaking to a person at the post office to pay for posting postcards can save you 7c per postcard compared to stamps from the shop- win!

·          That the Indian food section of the supermarket here consists of one lonely jar of chicken tikka masala, overpriced, like everything, at 4 euro. I will live without and enjoy a nice pasanda with pashwari nan, 2 bargi’s some pakora and mango chutney when I get home- not that I’m craving it or anything.

·         That pay-as-you-go phones still exist and that here, they are an absolute rip-off.

·         That sometimes, shops can run out of phone credit for a specific company. How do you run out of a thing that you can’t even see... what?

·         That 60% of the population here are under 25, 55% of the working-age population are unemployed and that the growth rate per year of the population is 3.7%

·         That when you introduce yourself as Polly to French-speakers they will generally hear Pauline, and, being British you will be too polite to correct them.

·         How to control a class of 30 7-9 year olds so they learn lots of English and behave perfectly every class. Ha! Just kidding, still very much working on this one.

·         That NOTHING you would like to get done at a certain time can get done at said time due to weird, restrictive and annoying opening hours. Particularly between 12-4pm when sleeping and eating are the only acceptable activities. If you are on the street at this time, not sleeping or eating, you will be looked at weirdly and told “bon appétit” as if you are surely on your way home to eat tout de suite.

·         How to fill out an immigration/ customs form without having to consult my passport for any details as I know them all off by heart.

·         That some of my 10 year old students can have a very basic conversation in English (probably their 3^rd language), whereas other people in the same class cannot write their own name in any language. Yay French school system :S

·         That a Cosmo magazine, with 1.50euro plastered all over the cover, turns out to be approximately 15.64 euro when you add on the costs of importing and overseas department prices rises, meaning no Cosmo for Polly J.

·         That any Caribbean song must mention the words “wind up your body” at least 62 times to be successful.

·         That the bus stops and taxi stands dotted around the town are all lies, there to deceive tourists and visitors that this is a place where public transportation exists. It doesn’t.

·         That the mini keyboard I bought to help with some sight-singing plays a semi-tone below the actual pitch it is supposed to be. #Musicstudentproblems

·         That unless you want to buy a 10-pack of toilet roll approximately everyday, you need to hide it in your room, away from your male flatmates. Awkward, when you’re on the toilet and then realise that you have forgotten- again :S

 And finally I have learnt.....

·         That, although I have learnt a lot of things so far on this year abroad, I have not learnt much of the things that I am here to be learning such as: How to speak French, how to tell off a student (they are normally just having banter), how to appreciate a fine French red wine (give me rosé any day!), or how to write a year abroad essay... I’ll start soon... obviously... I think I’ll just have a cheeky 3 hour nap then make a crepe and go to yoga. But after, defs...

That is all for now readers,
Polly (or Pauline, whatever you’d prefer...) xxx