The Polly-vasion begins...

The countdown to hometime has begun, Polly A est arrivee'd and life in  SLM is looking vastly up (aside from the worrying smell of mouse wee that is apparently reeking out my hallway. :S) I headed to Cayenne on friday in a classic car pool to prepare, and also to go out big-style in Cayenne at the one acceptable nightclub. Turns out, it's closed on friday's during lent (you what??)... so like most things in French Guiana it was an epic fail. Still woke up with a vodka headache though- I am deffo loosing my tolerance drinking-style. Got up nice and early, well, 11, and headed to the market for some cheeky Brazilian food to prep me for the voyage that is commencing this very saturday.

Huge strike of luck in that Katherine, one of the other assistants was casually off to the airport to head to La Reunion (!), and I ended up sneaking a lift with her, meaning I could meet her at the airport as a surprise. Turns out it wasn't as surprising as it would been had I not sent her a drunken fb at 4 in the morning announcing that I might be able to come. Either way, I was there and saved her from negotiating a car rental, 3 large bags and a 15km drive back to the centre of cayenne all on her lonesome. After her allowed 20 mins disco snooze, she was back on top form, driving a carload of assistants over to Remire-Montjoly for Lucy's birthday party.

The house for the party was ridiculously nice and we made ourselves at home by the pool with some tasty bbq'ed burgers. I did warn Polly that this was just a little bit not the same as my normal lifestyle in SLM. Everyone around the table laughed. I don't know what they are talking about! I am living the life of luxury.
Lolcano. The highlight of the night was heading down to the beach at midnight to watch some HUGEEE sea turtles laying their eggs. Apparently seeing the big ones is very unusual- now- I don't know how big they get, but I'm pretty sure we saw a BIG one. He was like 2m long and tres wide. Clearly not loving life while he was laying his eggs. Pollz sais she even saw a turtle tear. Turns out even the biggest most increds sea turtles are not enough to keep you interested when its almost 2am and you are jetlagged (Polly A) and hungover (Polly J). We rounded up the troops and snuck back for a good nights sleep.

Sunday we were determined to make the most of the car so headed out to check out some beaches. Pollz lasted approximately 6 seconds before the first "I'm sooooooo hot" was uttered. Hasn't really stopped since if I'm being honest! We drove to Roura to go canoeing. The place was closed. Classic. A tourist destination shut on a weekend- coz that makes sense!  We had a chilled picnic on a jetty and then due to my amazing directional skills we ended up at another canoeing place and after a couple of hours training for Rio 2k16, me and Pollz decided we had got caught in one mangrove too many and headed back.

We picked up a cheeky Macdo (WORLDS SMALLEST STRAWBERRY MILKSHAKE) on the way home, packed up our things and went on our way to pick up the randomers we were driving 3 and a half hours across the country. I am always using these car pool things when I come to Cayenne so I thought, If we have a car, why not give back to the community (Read: why should we pay for petrol when randomers can cover the cost?) At first they looked a little apprehensive when our car rocked up. " It's YOU driving to St. Laurent ?? Yes... well, be careful!" What have they never seen two white english girls (one a lot whiter than the other) driving half way across Guyane in a peugeot 206?? On second thought, probs not. We made it there though! Conversation was a little tense for the first hour or 2, but after a misunderstanding and Polly A thinking one of our high-school aged companions was actually the headteacher at the school- they were cracking up all over the place. They guy even asked if he could come to Brazil with us. I told him that sadly, its a girls holiday, so he threw all his crisps over the floor as he was eating them. Great.

We rounded off the weekend with an hour at choir (Pollz bagged a solo and doesn't even speak the language- not bad!) and an hour marking english tests at the bar on the boat.

The last three days have been spent in St. Laurent. Im showing Polly the delights of being an English teacher here, she has been asked the same simple questions by about 9 classes so far... only 2 left this week as friday we are off for Good Friday. Tomorrow she is private tutoring by herself as I am busy with another student. She has so much more of a clue about grammar than I do!

Today was fairly eventful. We went to the market this morn and filled up on delish roti, spring rolls, rambutan, and some other unidentified goodies. We then drove to the beach for a nice afternoon tanning, reading and playing cards. Well... the burning sun stopped any tanning from being possible, the gust of wind stopped any chance of playing cards and the weird men who kept coming over to talk to us stopped any reading that could have happened. We are talking seriously weird. The first one offered us some fish from their bbq- it looked rank, so that was a no. He explained how he was smoking tobacco and not weed- hmm, his unfocused dilated eyes told another story. He finally gave up when it was clear Polly A did not speak French and was more interested in her rambutans than him. Not for long though. The moment that the towels were down, suncream out and shades on, he said over his friend, who luckily (not!) for us, was from Guyana so spoke English. From then on, a very surreal 30 mins ensued. He started by asking me to explain the history of his country. Im sorry, I don't know. But you must know! You went to some big international school (did I) In my country they do not teach us.... we then moved onto his family in England, who apparently never write to him. No seriously, NEVER. he started CRYING. like awkward baby crying. He then got over it soon enough to offer us his amerindien things.

Im not an expert, but Im pretty sure that going to his house for him to give me something that will "show me the world" is not a great idea. I said no politely a couple of times, and then no a little less politely a couple more times. After much fist pumping and hand kissing and general awkwardness he finally left us alone. Unfortunately we had to walk past him again to get the car, which we did fairly sharply when we saw the third one in the group coming to try his luck.

We escaped to another beach, where we put up with a brief sandstorm, a serious ocean current, some dirty water and almost got involved in a random film about SOMETHING that was going on. It all got too much and we retreated to the car- where the SAME weird man was waiting for us. We exited quickly.

Pollz let me steer the car at 130km on the way back- brave lady!  We stopped for a drink in the sleepy town of Mana before they kicked us out of the restaurant as it was time for their lunch break and headed back.

We have another couple of exciting days left in Guyane before the brazilian adventure begins on saturday. Who knows where the next post will be from!

xxx

Polly the Private Tutor... :S

Now, I am sure you are all dying to know how I am getting on with my injuries. Well, luckily I am looking a lot less like an invalid and a lot more like a normal person... well, normal-ish. The foot is pretty much fine. Definitely a lot lumpier than it was before but whatevs. The elbow is swinging freely as I've given up with the sling. It doesn't hurt unless I try and do something crazy like touch my shoulder (I'm getting there). Only problem is that it does not straighten at all... bit of a weird 30 degree angle going on. Not ideal. The doctor keeps telling me, it'll come, it'll come... but as to how, I'm not really sure. I did some classic googling and found a couple of trusty NHS sheets about exercizes to do for this type of situation. Seems like more help than I am going to get here....

I am, weirdly, seeing the doctor practically everyday now though. Not for medical issues- that would be too simple. This week I have embarked on an exciting new world of private tutoring. Ok, this is not really very exciting, but hey with the extra 10 hours a week work, charging 15 euros an hour I have paid for my Brazil holiday nicely! I posted an announcement on the website for all things Guyane back in January, but, things being as they are here, there was little interest. A couple of people called asking for more info and never phoned back. So, I don't know what happened last week but all of a sudden my phone was ringing practically off the hook (well, you know, a couple of calls a day... which is more than in a normal month)! I'm happy for the interest but, the timing is not great. If I had started earlier I could have earnt loads! But as it stands, Polly A is arriving on Saturday for 3 weeks of absolute banter, and then I only have 2 and a half weeks left of this adventure before I head back Angleterra-side. In short, I was getting pretty used to finishing work at 11am and pretty much wasting the rest of the days napping and generally not being very productive.

Yesterday, I worked my normal school hours (8-11), had my weekly French lesson at 3, followed by three hours of private tutoring. I got home at 7 absolutely knackered. What is wrong with me? That is 7 hours work in total with a break (nap) of 4 hours in the middle. Pizza hut would be laughing at me- the thought of pulling one of my old 11 hour shifts with a 20 minute break is very scary.

I'm teaching a 6-year old (the doctor's daughter) who has a better level of English than most of my 11-year olds in the school. Now anyone who knows me, will know how completely anti-private school I am, but, maybe, here in St. Laurent the situation is a little different. She's very sweet, but I feel like 4-5 hours of English is quite a lot. Often, she'll ask me if she can go and play with her friends..... I want to say yes, but instead I have to be like, NO, we are learning about the family. Shes 6, and speaks fluent french and arabic, and basic english and spanish. Leave her alone!

I am also teaching 2 sisters aged 12/13 who find the work at school too easy and speak really good English. Teaching them is strange because we can do activities that just aren't possible with the school kids. But stressful as it means I actually have to plan for the sessions instead of just thinking, ermmmm, lets play bingo!
My third student is a 14 year old who is really struggling. She probably has the level expected of my 10-year olds. If you look through her english book you'd think she was super advanced though. I asked her about all the long paragraphs and she explains that she copies them all off the board and doesn't understand a thing. Great teaching going on there!

I never thought I would say this, but lately I have been wishing that we had learnt grammar at school. When I get asked WHY for the use of a tense/ irregular verbs/ or in fact anything. My ususal response is, don't worry about that we will do it next time meaning a) I hope they forget and we don't have to worry about it, or b) quick google so I actually have an answer to give them. When in doubt I go with the classic, well, sometimes you just have to learn the rules and there is no real way of explaining.....

In other news, I did a test this week with a couple of my classes. This did not go well, especially when I had tried to make it easy-ish. The highlight was: how are you ? answer: Je ne mange pas du pain (I do not eat bread). I also enjoyed: I hame na dege as an answer to the same question... I totes agree. Oh dear. I worry for them. They have a 3 hour test in English at the end of the year, wayyyy harder than this test. They will not do well. And its not their fault. They are supposed to have 2 english classes each week, but in fact, in most cases, their 45 minutes with me is it. The teachers don't have a clue what they have been doing as they treat it as a snack break, and then, they ask me for my curriculum I have followed for the year.

Ha! sorry.... curriculum? Someone was supposed to give me one? Because, er, that never happened. PollyJ has been living by the curriculum of what I feel like planning on a Sunday. They know I am not a teacher, nor am I supposed to be the principal teacher. Im doing my best, but I really feel like it's just not making any difference because the things I teach are not being reinforced/repeated at all.

Rant over... 3 weeks 2 days of teaching left, and for one of those weeks my lesson plan is: this is my friend Polly A, please ask her some questions in English....

Next blog should hopefully be much more exciting, if Polly A and the rental car make it in one piece to Cayenne on saturday :S One week and a half til Brazil, it's come sooo quickly!

How not to get a good nights sleep...

Now, my humble abode here in SLM has never been known for its amazing making-sleeping-easy-ness... however, I normally manage to get my 8 hours... or potentially 16 if we are talking about this last week when I have been off work due to the silly bicycle incident. But seriously... last night, I had not managed to get in my usual afternoon disco-snooze, and the cast had made comfortable sleeping positions difficult, so I was very much looking forward to going to bed after a film. Apparently this was too much to ask for...

1) I knew it was a bad sign when I came home from work yesterday morning and the FAN had finally given up life. It had been struggling for a while, taking longer and longer to warm up to full speed when you turned it on. As such I had left it on solidly for a week... probs not the best idea, but it worked, for the week. And then it did not work, thus, no nap for PollyJ as it was just too hot. As I am a massive cheap-skate I seriously contemplated trying to survive til the end without a fan... I have since changed my mind.

2) The bed has always been hideous. It was brought because it was the absolute cheapest option, and I can see why. It's not helped by the fact that I only have a foam mattress to put on it, so I have the lovely feeling of the wooden planks all down my spine most nights. This I have learnt to cope with, but, when not one, but two of the planks broke yesterday meaning half of me and the mattress sank towards the ground whilst the other half stayed up... I got to the point where I felt the wooden floor would honestly be more comfy. 

3) In my attempt to combat the lack of fan situation, I left the curtains and the "windows" (ha! slats of plastic in a frame... not able to fully close anyway) open. Great idea. Until the mosquito population of the Maroni Massif descended on my chambre for a fiesta. I am looking forward to the forthcoming dengue fever- apparently there is an epidemic in Cayenne... its only a matter of time...

4) I also left the door open to get some air. My housemate was having a rather loud and apparently bad signalled conversation with his fam in africa so already not ideal but I persevered. The buzzing of the mosquitos were drowning it out anyway.

I was almost asleep... half way gone AT least. And then I heard a rustle from my food shelf. Oh, its my friendly neighbourhood lizard come to say hello I thought. I don't really like him but he is not too bad and there is no way to get rid of him as he can slither under the door. The rustling continued, a bit louder than usual, enough to make me get up and put on the light. To my surprise I was greeted by a MOUSE face peeking out of one of the legs of my table. It was way to furry to be my lizard friend. NIGHTMARE. We had known that there was at least one mouse in the house for a couple of days but up until this point I had thought that my room was a safe zone, appaz not. I stood up to scare it, and it ran under the bed. GREAT.



I then spent an hour pulling out everything from under the bed out in the hall- DO NOT want a dead mouse in my rucksack when I leave in May. I tried to fix the broken bed in the process. By this time it was distinctly past the starting time of 11pm. By the time I was fairly sure the mouse was not near the bed, it was pretty late. Even then I was lying awake for hours due to heat, the bites, and the noises seemingly everywhere.

I finally must have got to sleep sometime around 3. Just in time to be woken up by my housemate going for her early shift at the hospital, because I had left the door open...

Loving life.... Even worse... I had the torture of explaining a fry-up to four classes this morning without being able to eat one :(  !!


I have since brought a fan... seen the mouse in the kitchen and covered myself in repellent... I am finally ready for a nap... can't wait to see what disturbs me next!

Update on the invalid

So, woke up Monday morning aiming to go to school, took one step out of bed, thought, oh no, foot still hurts, off to hospital we go again. This time I was prepared, and took a milkshake and a croissant to keep me from starving through the potentially very long wait. I managed to time it immaculately well, however, because, when I was hobbling over to the “urgences”, one of the guys from choir, a doctor at the hospital, shuffled me through a separate door, examined the foot, got me a meeting with the specialist and within an hour I had had an x-ray of my foot an argument with the payment man about how my travel insurance was actually valid and another appointment with the doctor. Luckily, according to him, nothing is broken in the foot, however 5 days on it is still very sore and it a very impressive shade of purple. He also took a look at the elbow x-ray, and, though I’m not entirely sure, it sounded like he said something to the effect of, this is not broken, I don’t understand why they have put a cast on it. So who knows, maybe he will take the cast off when I go and see him again next Monday? He also signed me off work for the week which is the reason I have been asleep for approximately 18 of the last 24 hours. I still have bags under my eyes, how is this possible!

So, today I am trying to make an effort to not do absolutely nothing. However, the internet is down which means no access to online dictionaries which means pretty much all my uni work is out of the window. But it also means downloading films are out of the window- nightmare! I am trying to read water for elephants in French, I guess I will have to crack on with that. I’m also very afraid of losing the tan from being inside all week, might have to have a nap in the courtyard a bit later on. My life is like actually so hard! I really need to get some food. A packet of super-noodles, a tin of tuna and some flour and one egg is not going to sustain me for much longer. However, the supermarket is too far to walk and the local shops are just so pathetic. They have tins of vegetables and potentially some cheese if you are lucky and that my friends, is pretty much it. That, teamed with the fact that even when I have the food, it is pretty much impossible to cook anything nice with one hand/ eat it, so I’m pretty much wasting away here. I do think that microwaveable popcorn is a potentially one handed affair so might have to crack on and buy a few packets.

I wish there was more to report but sadly it seems the highlight of my day today will be trying to wash my hair with one arm. There are only so many days in a row where using dry shampoo is acceptable. So-hope to have something more exciting to say next week! Bye for now.

The one where Polly breaks her elbow

Hey viewers, I'm back. Wish I had a Banterous topic for today's blog, but alas no. Instead we get to talk about many hours in a hospital, falling off things and organising insurance in a foreign country. Great fun. At least it'll be short as I am only able to type with my left hand. What a mare.

So, Saturday afternoon. It hadn't been  a particularly eventful saturday, so I went for a run to make e feel like I had done something worthwhile with the day. I was fairly impressed with myself...managed to do almost a full hour! I came home, decided there was still a good hour of sunshine left and rushed out again with my book and sunglasses to watch the sunset. On the way my mudguard check catching making a loud squeling noise so I tried to kick it back into place. My flip-flop got tangled in the wheel, along with my foot and splat. MAN DOWN. Some kids asked if I was ca va? I was like of course, ca va tres bien whilst thinking ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I made it home, and paced around the room for a bit. im fine, sleep it off.... and this was a great idea until I looked in the mirror and noticed my right arm was deffo not doing the same as the left. Had it always been this bent??? hmm probs not. I hobbled along t the hospital (not eating as I foolishly thought there would be a cafe, or at least a vending machine. ha! After 3 hours of waiting, I shuffled along for an x-ray having not even spoken to a doctor. After another hour or so, someone arrived to let me know it was a little bit broken. I mean what is that?? Surely it is or it isn't... 2 more hours and I was having a cast put on my arm. By this time it was 2 in the morning and I was delirious with starvation.

Hobbled home amongst the drunkn hobos, to find the 8ft gate (only entry to house) locked. I should point out that this door is broken and has not been locked for months! great  work, whoever had that good idea! I cried hysterically for a bit, called a couple of  people to no avail, did some serious gate banging and shouting...nothing. I did not want to sleep with the hobos, and foolishy, seeing the neighbours dustbin hanging about, i thought, yeah, i can climb this 8ft gate with my arm in a brand new cast. It must have been quite a sight to see me dangling with both legs over the gate arms flailing, but somehow i managed to pull myself upright. So now, im sat on an 8ft gate, with one arm, and I have to get down.

In an effort to protect the arm I landed heavily on the feet and had to hop upstairs. But I was in, and there was some stale banana bread and an uncomfortable nights sleep waiting for me....

THIS saga is not quite over but my left arm is tres tired.  More tomorrow if I can be bothered :)